Fly You Pigeons, Fly I Say!

To one: Carl Mangermen the Third,

I am sending this to:

• Syrefald
• Credia
• Wisdom

These are the cities I am fairly certain you have contacts in or I have met you personally within their walls. By now you will starting hearing the stories of the Dickripper, and how I tore the cock off the “at the time” God of Murder and Depravity – Bes. In his death throes he exploded bringing down the famous temple of the Dark called, the ‘Dome of Celestial Virtue’, in New Haven. I do not think you will have a hard time believing me when I swear it was not my intention to fight a god that day.

I write you for three reasons:

1. Please inform our Northern friends that the Goddess Bast, warned us death lay to the north if we took our eastern route. Implying we would fail to reach our agreed upon destination. With some assistance we are forced to take the long way around “The Horn.” Yes that look you’re making right now I had that same look on my face as well. Still this longer route is the only one with a chance of working.
2. This part gets even better, please spread the word that Bes was the one that destroyed the ancient temple. Per our orders from the Gods of Light and the Church. We were defending the Pieces of Osiris in our possession.
3. We have managed, with eight large pieces of the now former Dark God, to restore his corpse to full health via Khonsu’s Reaper. Then afterwards I brought Isis’ Seeker back from dying in the temple collapse. He was able to use a rare prayer that only works once per person and then is wiped from their memory. He resurrected Bes (whom currently has no member because I “Dick Ripped” it off before he died from our fight), then before anything else could happen he said the prayer and purged all of the dark from Bes restoring him to the Light! Then the Goddess Bast showed up and took him with her back to meet his family that thought him lost to the Dark!

I feel this explains the change in course that will likely reach your ears soon. I wanted you informed because we have an accord I do not wish to see ruined. Communication is key and so I am doing my part.

>> Written by Xerx’ses Goldenhorn, sent to each recipient on the morning of the 29th of Majestic, 4th year of King Guy the First of the Timiro Kingdom, 72nd Year of the Wolfen Empire, 345 year of the Dominion of Man, and 25th Year of the Western Emperor Voelkian Itomas II. <<

To a True Dwarf, Master Tiny, and a commendable Captain, Jershon,

I am glad you came along Tiny, but I listen to people and some of your words rung true to me. Captain, phrase it to the first mate, Miss Honeysuckle, however you wish. My order is that as long as Master Tiny accompanies the Shield Of Light he is to work with Miss Honeysuckle. Neither is to be in charge of the other, because that won’t allow a realization of Master Tiny’s gifts to shine. They shall work the same shifts, to maximize the amount of time they spend together. Hopefully, sailing around the world can bring that pirate to heel and allow the woman and mother to emerge. Maybe then she can see her hand in what she and Overkill did to Mary, I hope so.

Unlike many people I have met Master Tiny is the epitome of a dwarf: consistent, stalwart, fearless, tough, and brazen as all get out. He would make a great father in my opinion. I am sure he carries some inner demons as Miss Honeysuckle does and perhaps, together they can become stronger than the sum of their parts. Please facilitate any opportunity to allow this to happen naturally.

We are going to be leaving and not taking anyone with us. Captain you can’t come because I don’t want to face another god, please take no offense and think heavily about talking with Professor Malkin about the basics of becoming a bard. Anyone that can hold a tune of inspiration while a Demigod and God fight has what it takes! Please show him this letter and get the copies of the books for me in his care. He knows which ones I am talking about.

Well that should cover this missive,

>> Written by Xerx’ses Goldenhorn, sent to each recipient on the morning of the 29th of Majestic, 4th year of King Guy the First of the Timiro Kingdom, 72nd Year of the Wolfen Empire, 345 year of the Dominion of Man, and 25th Year of the Western Emperor Voelkian Itomas II. <<

To the most holy Bishop Rose Nodeki, and the honorable Commander of the Dawn, Sir Quixis Ote,

Bishop Rose, Sir Quixis,

I have a query, and I am sending this through the Pontiff to reach you wherever that may be. Especially, in case my prior missive fails to do so.

If my status means anything please allow to explain why I am confused. I feel the need to point out members of the Church of Taut were posing as Haven city watchmen. When an altercation between Khonsu’s Revenant, Apis’ Luminary, and two of what I am sure were prior service providers to Overkill one evening or another. They asked us to come with them and only asked for our weapons, nothing more. Trying to uphold the law we complied and were blindfolded and led away. We ended up in cells beneath the ‘Dome of Celestial Virtue’ in New Haven. Mine came with an extra ‘oomph’ that caused me to flashback to the time a now set of dead traitors of my tribe tried to burn me alive. When I regained my senses I found myself staring at the god Bes, himself! He and twenty Tauton minions were surrounding me. It appears that they have captured and tortured a fellow Osirian, the Monk Ley-rhy. According to a learned scholar your holiness knows and trusts it appears the Dark either has the Kidney of the Lawgiver or is hot onto its location and will have it imminently! This started a verbal sparring between Bes and I as I was escorted me down stairs where the rest of my friends and Master Tiny had gotten out of the cells they appeared to have been once in.

It was then, most holy Bishop that Bes threatened to kill my friends if we did not turn over Pieces of Osiris! I lost my collective excrement at that moment and went into a full rage. It was not my wisest moment but potentially one of my bravest. Funny how wise and brave tend to not go hand in hand! Well, Bes the Depraved, and I – Xerx’ses the OathKeeper, did battle on the stairs preventing the dark minions from reaching my friends. I made the decisions to make Bes feel what happen to my lord and savior those countless millenniums ago. I ripped his dick off, and that had the rather unexpected result for causing him to explode! Which caused the ‘Dome of Celestial Virtue’ to collapse!

Through a team effort we escaped and I was able to bring the Seeker of Isis back from the dead. Another point of order is that we opted to try and trust when the Haven Watchmen we met this go around told us we needed to leave and you were not in town at the moment. We took their advice to leave and now I am wondering if those watchmen were Taut decoys to make us look bad. We tried (mostly the efforts of Apis’ Luminary) to save those that we could despite their affiliation to the group trying to kill us. We were able to gather a total of eight pieces of Bes’ body.

Trust me here is something far more epic than killing a god!

Khonsu’s Reaper made the body whole minus the member because I tore it off before he died. Then Father Indaris managed to bring the god Bes back to life! Using an ancient prayer he was able to drive the darkness out of his soul making him a GOD OF LIGHT once more! Then the goddess Bast showed up and took him with her to talk with Ra once more.

Now with that set of experiences can you see my confusion why ships of the city of light are hunting us down?

Hopefully this can be resolved soon,

>> Written by Xerx’ses Goldenhorn, sent to each recipient on the morning of the 29th of Majestic, 4th year of King Guy the First of the Timiro Kingdom, 72nd Year of the Wolfen Empire, 345 year of the Dominion of Man, and 25th Year of the Western Emperor Voelkian Itomas II. <<

To the lovely Aleyne,

I dare suppose this missive will catch you off guard because we didn’t say goodbye to each other. Captain Jershon has his orders and hold onto the scroll I gave you, but don’t use it until I message you to do so. Laval’liere wrote me and explained that our child will be born soon. I say “our” because if you are accepted then you become a mother by default. Now she has asked me to wait on getting more wives till the two of us have the time to be married. Now stop the temper and fear building up in you. I will explain that aside from you I will seek nor accept no other potential wife until she asks me to. I said we would see this through and I don’t go back on my word. You will meet her but give her sometime because every woman in the time of birth may not think completely rationally. Granted this is what I have heard from all the male adults growing up.

So when I get close to the date I intend to bring the group back to the Shield Of Light, and take you along via the scroll so you don’t have to make the trek. That will mean a longer period of proving yourself to her, but there are also some elven priests as well. Right now we are off to go save the world from a portal going to the realm of the Dead and its necromancer master. Please, nicely ask Annie to make sure to keep drying carrots for snacks when we get back. I don’t want to hear about any fights between you girls when I get back.

Hopefully this quells the fears of your heart and brightens your tomorrow,

>> Written by Xerx’ses Goldenhorn, sent to each recipient on the morning of the 29th of Majestic, 4th year of King Guy the First of the Timiro Kingdom, 72nd Year of the Wolfen Empire, 345 year of the Dominion of Man, and 25th Year of the Western Emperor Voelkian Itomas II. <<

Art by AZ-Rune Art, commission him at: artist@agodrebuilt.org