Interact With Bigs, An Excerpt


Your first impulse will be to go to the old standbys of Fairy Food and the like. Don’t give in to this impulse. When we only have to see a big once, and want to get the most bang for our buck, then sure, we’ll stuff them so full of Fairy food that they burst, maybe not literally but that could be funny too.

You will begin to destroy what little respect you have begun to gather if you follow this course of action. The problem, as you well know, is that a fairy must play pranks. It is a part of our nature as much as eating or breathing. Usually these pranks are harmless, but sometimes they can get out of hand, especially if we let our cruel streak get out of hand.

And as you know, the longer that we go without playing a prank, the wider that streak becomes.

So, when trying to live among the bigs on a regular basis, keep in mind that they aren’t as observant as your average whelpling. Tying their boots together with their own shoelaces, especially if done while they’re standing around talking is an excellent prank, and should be easy for even the most maladroit amongst you.

Incidentally, standing around talking is something that they will do quite often. This isn’t just entertainment for them, even though it will be hard for you to tell. They have something that they call ‘conversation’ that is a simple matter of two bigs standing around and talking for hours. You have no idea how boring that is, but you will need to pay at least half attention to it, as they will expect you to be able to remember it later.

How insane is that?

Oh, and bigs lie. Outright, bald faced, lie. You and I both know that in the course of setting up a gag we can bend the truth a bit. The bigs lie just to keep things secret. I always knew they were insane, but this just takes that to a whole new level.

Who needs secrets that badly that they have to lie to keep them?

So, in continuation, the simplest tricks will get by the attention of the bigs. This can include pails of water perched precariously over a doorway, using a carpet of adhesion to stick their shoes to the floor (if you happen to have that spell or a reasonable alchemical approximation of the same. I think that it’s called “Glued” or something similar by the bigs.)

From the book entitled “How to Interact with Bigs on a Regular Basis” written by Hannah, Fairy of CrIsis.

Image courtesy Think Geek

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