Lunatics That Do Not Disappoint

Dearest Sister and my Queen,

I half-heartedly seek a day whence quarreling twixt us finds an accord and secedes to peace. However, it will not be this day. Pray stop thy brow from the furrow creeping across the face that would stop the wandering eye of a suitor for any creature yearning for love. You’ll get wrinkles – yes I know to avoid a punch from you in my future for saying your old!

From what I am gathering I have only been gone about a week or two from you, Mary, and little Izulkral. A fortnight had passed since I asked her to wed me and she said yes. Then it must have been a week later when his Godship, Lictalon appeared with the wise Sulyott and the four Ælves and Dwarves went to visit the city of Renvin. I was honored to be chosen as one of the ambassadors of our people and so excited to revisit the world we had fled from in the wake of the “Great Thunder” some eight millenniums ago.

If I still have my dates correct it was three days ago for you when I was practicing in the fields outside Renvin. I was summoned to see his Godship, Lictalon on the Island of Phi and a circle of transportation was used to make this occur. When I appeared I caught you out of the corner of my eye when I saw his magnificence! Mighty Ra appeared and offered me the chance at glory no mortal could believe. If I agreed I would become the Demigod of Valor for the Pantheon of Ra! We left the throne room of Lictalon and I appeared in Pyramid of Ra! I was told to read these books and ask him any questions I would develop. For me it became roughly a year of questions to Ra or a selected group of scholars from a dozen different worlds that these stories appear on. One of the scholars comes from a world where these stories are works of fiction told through a female prophet/author! I wonder if some old tales could be similar stories from our world? These books in question were the travels of “CrIsis” that Mary told us about involving her late husband. I can confirm the part about the Books of CrIsis that the public reads are indeed edited to protect the current incarnation of the group’s location. I have read about Mary and her cheating, whoring, pirate husband. On my beard, I won’t let Izulkral turn out like him!

Now at some point I will have to break the news to her I have agreed to join the Lunatic Squad. Yep if you thought my battle tactics were crazy don’t screw with the lunatics I call friends now. Sadly, it appears most of them are touchy feel-good and harm none types like a few of the weirder Druids I have met. NO GREAT CHANGE COMES WITHOUT PAIN! Hard to believe I wish Tarverness was here, a Priestess of Darkness she might have been but that Elf was tight with Aco and the one known as the Man with No Name has suffered Battlefield stress and is broken. Now he’s a death magic type caster and an honest, caring farmer. He’s even got back that focus which sent him down the revenge path so I wonder what can he possibly hate more than losing family. That battlefield stress has warped his mind and seems to be making him do needless evil all because of circumstantial evidence, or really just bad coincidence. I am having to make myself an asshole – stop laughing I’m nice – to drive home the point of healing him. If we lunatics can get through this hurdle then I guess we can get through anything? More on that below.

Traveling to this world has clearly affected me as well. My arms feel like lead weights and my axe swings are not nearly as effective. Ever since I read about Demon’s Brew I have wanted to try that stuff because I am well known for holding my liquor. Anything made of giant’s blood and Nether Realms sounds like an epic challenge. Well I blew it and passed out on drink one! At least I held it down and didn’t vomit. STOP LAUGHING! You only drunk me under the table once! I assure you there will be a second attempt! Hey you remember when that group of Orcs made a final ditch effort after we signed a peace treaty with the Orges to stop the trolls? They made it into the Golden Tower where you, Mary, and the united Congress of Baalgor were attacked. I lost my twin axes embedded into the final assassin when he fell through the window and was caught by a hungry, escaped Gryphon. Well Mighty Ra found them and Wise Thoth turned them into rune axes! Justice & Retribution are back and better than ever! Which leads me to the current conundrum, dimensional dissonance, or why I seem to be sucking at combat! Seriously, granted our last battle as a group was against the Arch-Fiend called, Ratel and his six Demons of Hades! I believe Ratel works for the Demon Lord, Modeus.

During the battle, Ursus the werebear scored a mighty blow upon Ratel, but appeared to not leave any effect one could see. The exploited weakness we have as a group is not having the Golden Minotaur and our collective susceptibility to blasts of eldritch petrification energy. I did not realize the 20 foot tall Maggot Demons could shoot them or I might have activated one of my martial disciplines. These villians are far different than most foes. while they shot mostly at the Man with No Name three of us were affected and recovered thanks the aforementioned priest that has now left. The 2nd mate of the CrIsis ship called the Shield of Light, Heebo. Managed to show us his skill with a Magical Net ensnaring a Shedim Demon within it, effectively removing it from the conflict. One of the Alu Demons had been hurt so bad in the initial clash it had returned to Hades! I was the first to wound Ratel effectively, and while I also landed the finishing blow the meat of the work belongs to Ursus and those joining him. While not stated let it not be said that Silent Dream was not useful. I heard his efforts across the fight bear fruit even if I didn’t see them.

Lunatic Savants of Fighting!

Despite our current predicament of the Nameless One being injured on the mental level, I am excited to see the elf Merkl in action. You could not join this group if you thought rationally, trying to make it safer for everyone would get you killed. This is a strike group of lunatics and they do not disappoint! We are going to rebuild a God! Oh yeah a God!

Osiris will live again!

Now I just have to navigate this “fireside chat” by pointing out something I saw on a map when I was in Ma’ip. Renvin is on the fastest route to the Western Empire! Before I could get that out as we sat around the fire having our “getting to know you” chat with Merkl and I. The “Golden Minotaur” appeared hovering above the fire which had changed to a golden color and gave no heat! A second sun had appeared above him and night became day while he was there! Xerx’ses descend towards us from the second sun. None of us could speak as we were dumbstruck with awe!

“My friends. I have been called up to serve as a Junior God among The Pantheon. I am being allowed to fulfill my obligations to the Tri-Arcanum and then I will officially move to the Ma’ip. I am glad you all survived. I have some gifts for you.”

Xerx’ses reached out and handed out one scroll to each of us. A scroll to Bletherad was given to Ursus. A scroll to Renvin was given to Silent Dream. A scroll to Avramstown was given to the secondary priest – a well spoken TrollGrignak, also half the normal size. To the Nameless Man he gave a returning scroll that would take you back to wherever one of the three destination scrolls took you! He whispered to the Nameless Man of how to cast one of the teleports from the Western Empire so the return scroll takes you back there keeping the promise. Then he touched his hand and for a few seconds of time the black leather of his hat and coat were as golden as treated doeskin gloves. Merkl and I received the remaining returning scrolls.

Once done he wasted no time continuing!

“Know that you will have trying times ahead of you, even more than what you are experiencing now. It will be hard to find common ground, but you must. Find it! Because, if you can’t find common ground, then the light can’t find common ground. And you must heal the wounds that appeared and work very hard to move forward. I have faith in all of you. You have been the greatest joys and inspirations of my life… and now my burgeoning Godhood. And I hope to see all of you with me. And sometimes that path doesn’t lead this way. And I will look in on Indaris in due time. But for those of you who stayed true to the path, you have my eternal thanks, and I will always count you among my friends. But for now it is time for me to go. Just know that my saving you was something that They decided was worthy. And I hope you don’t have to risk such a thing, but Hades will push it. Be prepared. Be well. And I love you all.”

He finished with those words. Before we could muster a response he sprouted golden wings like Benevolent Isis and he ascended back up into the light. The miniature sun faded and took him with it. The fire loses its golden luster as the heat resumes with the scrolls he handed out in our laps his final gift to his friends. I’m replacing the Godling of Oaths! Can you imagine your brother becoming a Demigod, much less a Godling of Ra!?!? Crap, more lunacy, their chief priest, Indaris, a devout follower of the Gods of Light had a “crisis of faith” when he could not get people to heal No Name and he failed to provide the celestial succor his friend needed. He left the group to retire from the priesthood! Now all is not lost as we were visited by the newly risen Xerx’ses and I felt better knowing he would look in on his closest friend. With everything these lunatics have seen its a wonder they aren’t all suffering from battlefield stress.

Well, here is to the heated discussion to come about the use of zombies. I have hope though that we can make Renvin a stop along the route to the Western Empire after the usurper we have to remove.

May all the girls look as pretty as you when they reach your age.


Written in Ancient Dwarven upon the 8th of Selestra; in 1st year in the Kingdom of Ælfrik
Dwarf siblings image by AZ_Rune.


5 Responses to “Lunatics That Do Not Disappoint

  • Yep, your Sis is gonna kick your ass when we visit her.

    Agreed that before we do anything else, the malady of the Nameless one must be remedied.

    • I hope next game we’re able to finally realize in-character that something is wrong with No Name!

  • I like that brother/sister pic!

    • Thanks it was a great way to get their concepts down so I can do them individually for their respective pages.

  • Love the pic! Also love getting to know the “balls to the wall” Torrun better- well written.

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