Philosophical Love Letter

KatharyneKatheryne, My one, my love, my life.

It would seem that my messages have not been reaching you, and for that I have no excuse, since I could have done more to assure that my messages made it to you. Often I have thought about you on this journey, and often have I missed you.

Know, however, that I no longer worry about the time that I spend away from you. You are there for me, always, even if I should never return to you, know that you are a part of my life in a way that will never be, can never be, lost.

So much has changed for me during the time that I have been a member of CrIsis. I have grown greater than the showman that I was when we were together in the dungeon. I am more than just a brute Shaman who dismembers people to sate the blood-lust of an audience.

I wanted you to be the first to know, and I hope that this will bring you a modicum of hope for the future. I have spent time in meditation during the past few days and have felt a sense of acceptance from Bast. I will, from this moment onward, be not just an adherent of our great goddess, but a priest. It will be a hard road for me, this change, but I have never stepped down from a challenge, and do not do so now.

My path in life, as is everyone’s, is my own to define. We are not always given the opportunity to decide every aspect of our lives, but we always have the choice in how we react. Sometimes, taking upon us a mantle that has been thrust upon us, accepting it, and exemplifying it is the only way to be truly free.

While I was in the dungeon, I was a free man. I see that now. I had accepted my place in the small world that the dungeon encompassed, and I took every joy that life had to offer. You are a part of that joy that I accepted and gave in return.

I was a shaman, a brute, an actor, a lover, and many other roles over the years. In each of those roles, I, Grignak showed the world a part of my soul.

When I was called by the gods to join CrIsis, I thought it was to be the brute, the shaman, the actor. The gods do not pick you for who you are, but who you will be. As I write this, I do not know if Indaris, Priest of Isis and all round nice guy will make it. He lies dead from wounds received while we ran after defeating Bes. I don’t know if part of my resolve is because of his possible death, or because of something I’ve felt growing in myself for a good deal longer than the past couple of days.

Could it be, simply, that the choices we are presented with have all been predicated by all of the choices that we made before? That fate is nothing more than the consequences of all of the actions that we ourselves chose?

If that is that case, part of the blame for Indaris’ death falls upon Indaris. It was he who spit upon a guard of the Church of Dark, showing his intolerance. It was he, who then accused the women who assaulted Ursus and Dream, of plotting our downfall, and his accusation got us arrested. While arrested, Bes arrived to taunt and or torture the members of CrIsis. In defeating Bes, the temple complex was destroyed, which destruction killed Indris.

I do not condemn him for his intolerance, but I can’t help but blame him for his own demise. Many times since I joined CrIsis, my own demise could have occurred due to my own choices, and should I die before this quest is through, it is likely that death will be my own fault as well. Not entirely, of course, since I am not a man alone in the world, but partially? Of course.

I ramble.

So, when next we meet I will be a priest of Bast. I cherish all the time we have had together, and look forward to that day when the balance is restored and we might again be united. Should we never again be reunited, even though we both live in that day, remember, always, that you are my heart.



6 Responses to “Philosophical Love Letter

  • This is why we missed your logs… well done, and welcome to the Priesthood!!
    I especially love how he goes from very serious to “I ramble.”

  • Perhaps your greatest log to date!

  • Grignak is breaking his mould and heading into priesthood, cool log sir cool log.

  • Very cool log! Didn’t her last log implore him to return and help in the civil war? It seems like this log very quickly essentially tells her “no” without actually coming out and saying it, and I love it.

    “Will you come back and help?”
    “Listen, I may never see you again but I’ll always remember you. kthxbai.”

  • I relish the way he just lays it all out there. No soft curves, just hard blunt corners.

  • Just like him in bed… oops, did I say that?

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