URSUS COMPLAINS

 


Ursus is sitting in the middle of Hades, while on watch, talking to no one in particular.


 

Fuck Hades, WTF am I doing here, it will take something even greater than putting our Lord back together, before I EVER come back to this furnace. I have NEVER been so warm and I even took a short jaunt to Baalgor Wastelands before I joined CrIsis. That was like a fall day in the NorthernLands compared to this place.

 

The heat, the fucking heat, my balls are a puddle of sweat right now, I have to scoop them up with a spoon just to carry them. AND the smell, I know I can stink often, but I can’t even stand my own brand right now, OY! I could rot ambrosia with the sweat from my balls alone.

 

Speaking of food, I COULD EAT A GIANT RIGHT NOW I’M SO STARVED. For almost a month now, all I have had is my stinking, rotting, magic bear pig food. ECH! I am so SICK of pig, I may never eat it again for another lifetime. Everything else I had I gave up so the rest of CrIsis could survive here. AND until recently, we ALL thought the food here was either poisonous or cursed, until SOMEONE, AHEM, used his knowledge and was able to search the dusty cobwebs of his brian to determine that it was SAFE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I COULD HAVE BEEN EATING ANYTHING ELSE! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

 

Well travels have been well…ish. It has been MONTHS. We have taken great care not to be discovered, with the exception of the Locust Demons, they were easy, pfft. Oh yeah, a new PERMANENT gateway has been added, thank you CrIsis. Too bad we can’t use it to get home, we have a plan for that. We figured out that we had to had get to Glacier PEak, I was like AT LAST some slight relief, I thought maybe it would at least get temps back to Baalgor levels…OH KNOW…IT IS WORSE…

 

So we are close…so very close…we just have to get to MudFace…soon, very soon.

 

So what do you think…are you listening to me?…Mr. Tooth…ARE YOU LISTENING…DAMN YOU…WTF…

 


Ursus pic by our own AZ Rune.

 

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