URSUS INFLUENCES STRANGE BEHAVIOR

What were they thinking?

[Player’s Note: The three characters are based on three of our fans that watch us on Twitch]

Heeb O’Téarma, S.F. Kirsch-Bart and Al L’achièvèmèntun Loch and several other Nisians are gathered around a large cart filled with a schock* of mead barrels. O’Téarma speaks:

*“Everyone here? OK, here’s da rules;*

*• Winner is the last man standing.
• You must have your bear head on at all times.
• If Ursus changes form, you have to put on the Bear claws and feet.
• Any time Ursus says any type of word, regardless of language he is speaking, that is considered a fowl word, we drink the standard quarter stein.
• If Ursus uses a fowl word that refers to copulation, we drink double.
• If Ursus yells ‘ANSA’ everyone drinks a full stein.
• Since we are sneaking around ‘spying’ on Ursus, if you cause Ursus to turn our way, you and you alone drink.
• If Ursus stares at you, you and you alone drink a full stein.
• If you pass out, but are able to recover before ‘last man’, then you are allowed back in and everyone else must drink.
• If you pass out AND lose your Bear head, you are out period.*

*”Any questions?”*

Kirsch-Bart speaks up:

*“Yeah, what happens if Ursus comes over and tries to interrupt or talk to us?”*

*“Then we all stand like statues, first one to move, budge, talk, snicker, laugh, piss himself or any other action OTHER than standing perfectly still will have to mix a drop of the ‘special brew’ with a FULL Stein of mead and drink all of it. Anymore questions? OK, good, let’s get started, the crowd has broken up and it looks like they are coming out.”*

After a couple hours of following Ursus and Grignak there is just half a dozen barrels left and three participants left standing. Kirsch-Bart and O’Téarma have both passed out once each, but somehow have managed to “return” to the game.

“Welsh, heres weez bees, lash tree. (_braapp_) Hows mans bear-als weez goths lest?” Says Loch.

O’Téarma replies with *“Dis minis”* as he holds up his two hands with all his fingers extended.

*“Nose, weez goths dis minis”* Says Kirsch-Bart as he holds up each hand with only the middle fingers extended and snickers as he does.

“Dats nos funnies, (_braapp_) ifs weez runs outies, den nose ones whinnies. Was a poins ooze dats?” Loch replies, almost sounding angry.

*“Eyes doze nose, Eyes jus hairs toes drinksies ansas…DRINK HESE SAYS ANSA…nose waist eyes séance ansa…hehe…ansas gits drinksies.”*

Just then, as the three are loudly and gibberishly arguing, a figure appears behind one of them, the other two go “statue” still as the third continues to yammer away:

*“Wise yous stops talkzing ansa wise yous stanza stills? Owes grates, Hese behines mees. CRAPSES!”* Sputters Kirsch-Bart.

Kirsch-Bart slowly and tipsily turns to face the figure behind him. As he comes face to face, so to speak, with the figure, he realizes it is Ursus in human form and utters a slight sigh of relief and regret. He then takes out the “special brew”, puts a drop into his stein, fills it with mead and chugs it. As he tips the stein all the way up to get every drop, he falls backwards, flat on his back, knocking his Bear head off in the process. Both O’Téarma & Loch both start laughing uncontrollably. Ursus stares at them with a cocked head for a few moments then turns and walks away. The two continue to laugh, pointing at Kirsch-Bart, Ursus, and each other. Eventually they recover, but it is too late, because they have lost sight of Ursus and have no idea where to look for him. They decide that it is way too late and their friend needs help. The barely lift him and his Bear head into the wagon and lead the horse back to the Inn that is owned by all three. Once they get there, Kirsch-Bart stirs, grabs for his Bear head and yells out some gibberish about losing. He finds his Bear head, stumbles inside and up to his room. The other two barely manage to get the cart and horse put away, before stumbling back to their own rooms.

*Schock – a traditional German unit of quantity equal to 60

Bear Head design by Duncan Cameron
Demon’s Brew picture pieced together from open sources by LURCH6571
Ursus picture by our own AZ_RUNE.