What I Did for Winter Vacation on the Isle of Cyclops

Look at the size of that thing


Jarvis,

Holy Damn its cold! We took our time getting to the Isle of Cyclops and that was perhaps the biggest mistake as we were getting there during the holiday of Set… (hint hint guys) and it was colder than all nine hells (or is that just a figure of speech?). When we got to this icicle of a ‘wonderland’ it comes as a no wonder that we were eager to get out of there as soon as we arrived. My poor bits are all frozen including the ones called nipples.

We attempted our usual ruse of a lord (thank you Xerx’ses) and his brood of dogs, slave servants and man-dog (the Whipping boy) witch worked apparently and I have the bruises to prove it. As for who we talked to get all the information I cant say I was busy keeping my ass from being beaten. While we were attempting to get lodgings Asher took off after a human man child that was more slippery than a greased rat. Turns out that ReSet had eyes on the island and had found us quickly with almost anticipation (cheating on the contract perhaps?). He made a quick discovery of their plans but not without almost getting caught. Caused a rock slide er.. shower(?) and got away to get up with us while we were on ‘tour’. Lost a valuable item and I am sure that I will not be discovered until spring. The snow was really heavy and covered his invisible tracks.

Meanwhile when we found a guide (piece of… a real character that guy was) called Pit (because he was such a ‘peach’ or the worst part of one) who took us everywhere but where we wanted to go witch was to the place where ‘O’ was located. Luck us we had the Finger (pull my finger; haha, sorry had to go there) and find the place on our own.

Finally we had the guys in our sights, well at least the building, so we plotted how we were going to get the net item of ‘O‘ and we were certain that there was wards, magic circles and such so we kept our distance. Well not far enough because before we activated our ‘flawless plan’ we got to close to the building and possibly its neighbor. With a loud alarm we realized that we had only seconds to get the work done.

Even with all the prep work that we did, we were not fast enough (maybe ten seconds shy) because when we destroyed the building and covered us all in dust and snow (we looked like snowman chimney sweeps when the dust settled) all of the members of the hive of scum and villainy were long gone. Their alarm was more then enough to help them and give them insight to escape.

So in the end, we were wet, on the run from local police, dirty, smelling like a fire pit and leaving a trail and weighing our options of getting on a boat or teleporting. I vote teleport. Lets get the crap off this ice cube, alive and unhurt (and perhaps save my nipples).

Smell ya later,

Your lovable Burlap.

Written by Burlap on the 3rd of Od the 17st year of King Itomas.

Picture from For Wallpapers

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