Admission of Guilt

My friend Moli,

This is a letter from your friend Silent Dream. I think you may think it has not been very long since I last wrote you. But it has been over a month for me. The Goddess Apis blessed The Nameless Man with a great gift of time. All of CrIsis was able to be included. But that is not why I am writing to you today.

I am very concerned for the goddess Apis. Grignak accidentally instigated a battle with more than a score of Demons, Deevils, and Minions of Taut. It wasn’t long before Grignak, Ursus, The Nameless Man, and Father Indaris were all overwhelmed and taken out of the fight. The Gods whisked replacements for some of them to us in order to help. I did not catch their names. But even with their help, Xerx’ses and I were worried.

Until I psychically enforced a calm upon many of our enemies. This forced them to hold their attacks so we could converse. I talked with them. “You must realize this will end poorly for you. Look around you. Is your death today the best way to serve your masters?” That is what I said to them. I explained they should leave while they could. It took a few tries to convince them. Once they realized the tide of battle had turned against them they decided to leave. But before any of us could react the dishonorable villains began to take the fallen bodies of our friends away with them! It was when one grabbed Father Indaris and tried to take him away that Great Apis; Blessed Mother of Nature and Friend to Mortals, directly intervened in violation of the Agreement. She grabbed Indaris from their hands and returned him to us. By her power the rest of CrIsis was returned as well.

The replacements who had arrived were returned to whence they came. Apis weakened visibly before us as the Agreement enforced its sanctioned power. Her last act among us was an act of love and kindness. She rejuvenated and refreshed us all. Then she vanished back to Ma’ip. We then were warned that the Gods of Dark would attack the Gods of Light now that she was in a weakened state. We spread what word we could to pray for the Gods and to pray to Apis. The strength of our collective faith could turn the tide and keep the Gods of Light from losing the Great Mother. But our faith had to be strong.

I prayed like I have never prayed before. I encouraged as many as I could to join me. I worry now, though. Did I do enough? Did we all do enough? I do not know if the battle continues or has subsided. Nor do I know yet the fate of the Kindest of the Gods. I dare not try to find out. All I can do is pray. Please Moli, when you can – pray as well. I dare not pray to Apis yet for guidance or strength. I must find that on my own for now. I decided to start by writing to you. This will sort my thoughts. You taught me this.

For you see, I have done a great disservice to my friend Ursus. I used a new mind power carelessly. I did not understand its danger. Because of that Ursus’ mind was damaged. In his altered state he then hurt innocent people and made them to suffer. It took us a couple weeks to discover this. As soon as I realized something was wrong with him I did what I could to make things right again. I succeeded but only because I was very lucky. But it was too late.

Ursus was arrested and then tried for his crimes. Those crimes which he committed only because my willful ignorance unknowingly changed him. I pleaded for his clemency in the courts. Couldn’t they see this was my fault? That I should shoulder this blame? But still the courts blamed him. He was found guilty and made to pay restitution. I know that it could have been worse. They were understandable angry at his actions. We were lucky a previous CrIsis member was nearby and able to help us. But even he could not convince the court that it should be me paying that price for Ursus’ crimes.

Worse than that is how some members of CrIsis now seem concerned that my powers might hurt them, too. I can see it in the way they treat me. One even said as much to me. I do not blame them. I have lost their trust. If I am not careful they may soon start to fear me too. It has happened before. I do not wish to see it happen again.

My previous letter contained my concerns about the Tri-Arcanum Guild. I think upon our return I will see if those concerns are unfounded. I will seek help and guidance from the members there. From other Internalists. Or at least from the ones who will talk with me and treat me as a member. I hope with their experience and knowledge they can help me to understand why my powers hurt Ursus so. I hope to find out how to prevent hurting others as well. It will be disrespectful to Great Apis otherwise. She placed me among these legends. If I cannot regain their trust then how can I be of use to them and our noble mission?

Thank you for reading this Moli. I miss being able to have conversations with you directly. I hope you are well and safe. May the Gods always stand between you and harm in all the empty places you walk.

Silent Dream. of Dream Lake. and of CrIsis.

Note: This letter written in Elven, on parchment paper, on the thirty-first 24th day of Grekar which Silent Dream experienced, in the seventy-second year of the Great Wolfen Empire.

Image Credits:
Daria Ridel
JasonEngle