Guild Leadership Rules

People Keep Their Secrets

Dear Master Weaver,

First, a message from Master Wesvon that I am sure Rod Rambler will edit out.


Vhet zee hell ere-a yuoo pryeeng fur? Ve-a hefe-a nut esked ooff yuoor pest!! I du nut cere-a iff She-a is freeckin’ Isees, bleepeeng Roorga, oor bluudy Netusa! Mooch less vhu her pest lufers mey hefe-a beee! I knoo iff I vere-a joodged oon my pest rumunteec intunglements I vuoold be-a rutteeng in zee shedoo plune-a thet is zee Veesdum jeeel! Ell thet metters is thet she-a is guud fur zee Gooeeld, vheech she-a is!

Su, Moostroom bruooght yuoor inqooury tu me-a, und du nut be-a ungry et heem, fur it ves a smert mufe-a, rezeer thun cunffrunteeng Cherulyn, oor seekeeng zee unsvers frum oozeers- I hefe-a seee her med, und yuoo du nut veesh tu hefe-a her rege-a fucoosed oon yuu. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!

Iff yuoo chuuse-a tu esk her yuoorselff, it is yuoor foonerel, boot I shell nut, nur veell Moostroom.

I hefe-a sume-a guud noos fur yuoo thuoogh- I veesh tu help veet yuoor qooest, fur Terush is a deeck, su zeere-a is a soorpreese-a veeeting fur yuoo frum me-a- best ooff loock.

Translated here below from the magic hidden code above:

What the hell are you prying for? We have not asked of your past!! I do not care if She is frickin’ Isis, bleeping Rurga, or bloody Netosa! Much less who her past lovers may have been! I know if I were judged on my past romantic entanglements I would be rotting in the shadow plane that is the Wisdom jail! All that matters is that she is good for the Guild, which she is!

So, Mustrum brought your inquiry to me, and do not be angry at him, for it was a smart move, rather than confronting Charolyn, or seeking the answers from others- I have seen her mad, and you do not wish to have her rage focused on you.

If you choose to ask her yourself, it is your funeral, but I shall not, nor will Mustrum.

I have some good news for you though- I wish to help with your quest, for Terosh is a dick, so there is a surprise waiting for you from me- best of luck.


Su, here-a is zee respunse-a fur yuoo Mester Veefer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Ve-a hefe-a beee fery boosy tekeeng cere-a ooff yuoor reqooests. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

Ve-a ere-a 75% cumplete-a in cetelugeeng zee roone-a veepuns. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

Pruject Elpha: Cumplete-a, und yuoo shuoold see-a it deffend… vell, yuoo need tu be-a here-a tu see-a zee resoolts ooff Pruject Elpha.

Pruject Gemma: 30% cumpleted. Bork bork bork!

Pruject Beta: Hes led tu mure-a cumplete-a sereeuoosness in Pruject Gemma, es nune-a cun be-a fuoond- es in 0, neda, nut a oone-a.

Ve-a lust fery foo Ilfes, fur ve-a et zee Gooeeld ere-a strung ooff meend und veell. A hundffool vere-a lust. Um de hur de hur de hur. Reencooind ves a soorpreese-a, boot he-a hes vreettee thet he-a is vell, und is vurkeeng in a leebrery in Phee thet vuoold bloo my meend. Bork bork bork! I mey hefe-a tu feesit, iff yuoo ifer cume-a beck und geefe-a me-a a breek….

I veell meet veet Vesfun und Cherulyn tu try und cume-a up veet a plun tu recrooeet mure-a frum zee Vulffee Impure-a. Thees is a splendeed idea! Cun yuoo reech oooot tu Keeng Gooy tu try und cunfeence-a heem tu send mure-a putenteeel stoodents oooor vey es vell?

Translated here below from the magic hidden code above:

So, here is the response for you Master Weaver. We have been very busy taking care of your requests.

We are 75% complete in cataloging the rune weapons.

Project Alpha: Complete, and you should see it defend… well, you need to be here to see the results of Project Alpha.

Project Gamma: 30% completed.

Project Beta: Has led to more complete seriousness in Project Gamma, as none can be found- as in 0, nada, not a one.

We lost very few Elves, for we at the Guild are strong of mind and will. A handful were lost. Rincewind was a surprise, but he has written that he is well, and is working in a library in Phi that would blow my mind. I may have to visit, if you ever come back and give me a break….

I will meet with Wesvon and Charolyn to try and come up with a plan to recruit more from the Wolfen Empire. This is a splendid idea! Can you reach out to King Guy to try and convince him to send more potential students our way as well?

Forgive the hidden speech, but I did not wish the information to be intercepted.
Sincerely in service,
Mustrum Stibbons

Sent on the 7th of Corg in the 1st Year of Master Weaver Xerxses of the Great Tri-Arcanum.

Charolyn picture credit Sharidyon.
The image of Wesvon from adorindil.
Picture of Mustrum by our own AZ Rune.


4 Responses to “Guild Leadership Rules

  • This was fun to write.

  • I wonder what Wesvon’s surprise will be? Also, should Silent Dream be annoyed that Xerx’ses took that “secret” and sent it straight to the guild? Granted, he embellished it a bit, but still.

    • I could certainly be understanding if he was upset. However Xerx’ses would ask what his plan was to figure it out? Certainly, Mustrum, communicated his inquiry in a less than delicate fashion. However, given there’s no research time left it was the best that could be done. Especially given the schedule KillerVP is under currently.

  • Yuoo knoo es a Svede-a myselff, I teke-a greet ooffffense-a tu thees cooltoorel epprupreeeshun und cleer referse-a receesm. JK. Thees ves foockeeng heeleriuoos. Bork Bork Bork!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.