Knick-Knack Paddy-Whack Give a Dog My Kingdom for a Bone!


Uncle Firsar,

Have you ever been in love? Did you ever settle down and marry? Have children? Have you ever had room in your life for anything other than being a Defiler and saving the world? Will I? Can I? I fear that my parents only had each other because they shared Defiler-hood and world-saving. It’s a great ice-breaker. I want other things out of life. I know Otto does too.

Ovkral told me that I was next. Sigh. Que sera sera! Xerx’ses (in a very effeminate voice) advised me to give the Nose-Picker to the Squirrel. Ja’Deir obliged me with an effective expenditure of his inner-strength. Get rid of it doc! What? How much? Everything! Ooookay! BLAMMO! MIND WIPE HERE WE COME!!!

Oooh! What a lovely dog!

Before I knew it I was tumbling through the aether and right-smack-dab into the Agent’s sadistic clutches! Let the torture begin! It’s funny but I don’t remember having the opportunity to roll initiative. I have this nagging suspicion that I could have gotten off a reflexive Wind Rush and wrought some havoc before things really got going. Ah well! C’est la vie!

I found myself in a stone room, surrounded by walls of fire. Looking around there seemed to be no escape except through the flames, which illuminated something strange: I was standing inside a circle which tingled with magic power. I heard a voice above me and a Baal-rog’s head appeared over the wall. “Welcome Tyvernos Tiberius Anselm Oriflamme. We look forward to torturing you.” Who the hell was he talking to? He placed, with his large hands, two men within the circle, both heavily robed.

Tyvernos cracks his knuckles and says — I’m not sure who you’re talking to big guy, but I’m excited to see what you’re made of.

Indaris’s prayer reached through the dimensions to touch my wee heart and bolster my resolve before it was broken. Thank you!

Indaris: Hear our cry, O She Who Scatters Attacks
for one to be trapped in evil.
Open our hearts to trust
your presence to guide us
in the unknown places
teach us your endurance

Indaris: and support us in all
that we undertake
free us to share with you
the rage within, knowing
you will never desert us.

I was tortured, each day, then tortured more vigorously after my memory returned. The agent, it seemed, was not fooled by our ruse. I had no recollection of the events and can only assume that my mind was wiped. I showed up on the 18th of…oh, hell! What month is it? I don’t think the mind-wipe touched my short-term memory…or did it?

I returned and was healed and we decide over breakfast that we can’t trust Bitchup Rhodes anymore because her adviser, a Jinn, may be associated with the gods of darkness. Necessity makes for such strange bedfellows. In no time we arrived in Mishala. FINALLY! ! THE OCEAN!!! I went straight-away to see Mikala who was out and about but I did make a healthy deposit at the Gold Coast Trading Company. I filled out and filed a last will and testament with an attorney. And even took some time to enjoy a pipe and blow some smoky clouds of truth up the lawyer’s ass.

My meeting with Sulyott went well. We squeezed information out of him regarding the piece of Osiris in the Northern Hinterlands. Apparently it’s being held by the Greek Furries. That’ll be fun! Sulyott asked me why I didn’t take Oric’s skull — he was suitably vague with his response. It was in the middle of a magic circle and we couldn’t be bothered with trying to disarm the thing to reclaim the old bones. I just as soon bury him spiritually. I had already given him send-off in my thoughts and prayers.

The squirrel was very insightful. I got a brief glimpse into his thoughts and journals and espied this passage:

“…If the two sides could meet on common ground, why couldn’t they come to an agreement? If they had to meet and set up “rules” for the war, and truly expect both sides to follow these rules, why couldn’t they just negotiate peace? And further, if they couldn’t negotiate peace, how were they to trust that the antagonistic gods would even follow these rules of engagement? It made no sense whatsoever.”

Uncle, have you ever questioned the gods? Have you ever wondered whether your faith was misguided? Have you ever wondered why the war between good and evil never ends? Did you ever think you’d be having this conversation with me? Because I am sure I will NEVER have this conversation with the next generation. The war ends with us — here, now — with CrIsis and the Gods of Light. This cyclical pattern of death and rebirth is CHAOTIC as the war plays itself out in the theater of Good and Evil. It is time to end the cycle. Tell me, Uncle, what must I do?

Tyvernos “End-Bringer” Oriflamme

Written by Tyvernos on…an unknown date, in the 70th year of the Wolfen Empire.

Picture by Alternia
Picture by MystikalSense
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Picture by h4nd

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