A Captains Rebuttal
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A Dwarfs Spanking
You trouble me again with requests of swaying from the bidding’s of my masters the Gods of Light? How dare you! You, putrid pile of seagull excrement, are neither worth my time nor effort. Your hostile threats against women and children are warranted but alas it all comes from an ass; a stubborn stubborn ass who by the way has not had one successful move against CrIsis; only women, children and the elderly; mere villagers. You chase after farmers and shop owners and not warriors? How pathetic are you? Your master must be so pleased and pats you on the head like a little puppy for incessant failure. I am sure that if you served a real god like, Kym Nark Mar, Algor, Rurga, or the Great Goddess Isis and Mighty Thoth that you would not survive such failure but your master accepts your excuses and ass kissing. Never bother me again unless you are going after CrIsis with something real. Your squabbling and petty requests are no longer welcomed.
P.S.
I have been kind enough to give a copy of this letter to your true Master via mine; Thoth be praised. I am sure that Anubis and Bes will be soo pleased. Fear is for the weak and you play on no such person. I have faced death many times and been at deaths door almost a half dozen times. Piss Off! I hope that your true Master Bes shows the true wrath of a god and punishes you for your ‘success’. A real opponent will have to replace you because you do not do the job.
Overkill.
Written by Overkill on the 12th of Grekar on the 1st year of King Wilgan.
Picture from Wikimedia Commons.