Air an Heir Seclorum Ignoti In Cogito Incognito Squirrell Seagulls

On a dark and stormy morning I awoke to the sounds of hail pelting the earth by an angry elemental. Water and Air seldom socialized with amiable congress. It was perfectly understandishable. Someone had left a dog in my quarters and it had made itself at home. Odd. This was a little early for the gift-giving season. Someone had a very peculiar sense of humor. I introduced myself to the dog and he smiled back. It would break his little heart to know that his kind no longer carries brandy from about his furry…person. No matter. I bade the dog kneel with me in prayer to my goddess, the Phoenix wreathed in flame, Bennu. Not surprisingly the St. Bernard expertly communed in tandem with my own communion — for confirmation of course. I decided right there that I would keep him. Vexing hoax or piquant prank the dog would be mine and I would name him Otto!

On a dark and stormy morning I awoke to the sounds of Overkill’s sword being *STUPENDOUS*. It confused me at first and I enjoyed that moment of befuddlement before I begrudged the benighted bewilderment in a banal banishment of belligerence. All of our things were locked up in warded chests. My heart behind bars in my warded sizzle-chest. Bennu conspired gravely from her purry ferch with iron-eyes and seditious stripes. Patchwork motley of cruel colors and velour. I in my kerchief awoke with a clatter and scrambled to the bookie to see what was the matter! Ahura Ashada Mazda draped me like a cloak of shadows. Sore thumbs need not apply. We gathered ourselves for a bet and the chipmunk’s money was no money at all. For Chip’s shits ‘n Dale’s giggles I held the Gem of Reality tightly. Something was amiss. Tony the lion-hearted liger stood proudly, metamorphosed, and couched in illusion conferring with Joe.

Do you see what I see?

Said the shepherd gnome to the mighty squirrel!

I go to the bookie and attempt to pass over 50g and the man explains that he doesn’t accept my currency. AWESOME! With my hand on the gem of reality I see a Raksasha metamorphosed / illusion and speaking to Joe.

Tyvernos leans in and whispers “you ‘listening?’ I’m gonna start thinking”

Ja’Deir Ok. Yes.

Tyvernos thinks thoughts of a humanoid-tiger form — dressed well, well-mannered, and he thinks thoughts of DEMON — then he winks and nods at a particular man speaking to JOE

Ja’Deir says telepathically, Let me think… Is it a…


Do you know what a Raksasha is doing here?

Tyvernos thinks AFFIRMATIVE — but he sends question marks back as to the reason…but he directs your attention discreetly to the person AND thinks an image of the man in his mind.

Ja’Deir says telepathically, Strange. I will keep my eyes on him… Do you want to ask Mikala about him?

Tyvernos thinks a definitive DECLINE — he thinks an image of a squirrel following a little kitten…but the squirrel stays out of visual / aural range. He then thinks an image of a gnome walking his dog and being further distant from the squirrel…not wanting to draw suspicion or attention to EITHER of them.
(From Ja’Deir): Ok, so you want to follow him, we both go in different directions?

Yes — let’s stay within range — if you can make yourself invisible psionically — or unobtrusive — that’s better. If not, we shouldn’t be seen together — ESPECIALLY because a gnome and a fucking st. bernard are FAMOUS for being members of CrIsis — I would inadvertently draw attention / suspicion to you — lesser known newer member of CrIsis…savvy?

We follow the Raksasha to a poor section of town and he enters a brick building.

Do you hear what I hear?


We almost decided to leave an ermine to follow the Raksasha when it leaves the building. SCRATCH THAT! The elemental furies of Bennu have bestowed me with the ability to bequeath aerial aligned forms of metamorphosis to my allies. Haha! Fly as the Eagle my little Garden Gnomish Ass! I turned us into seagulls and we followed an old woman with a cane out of the house — but not before drop-shipping some CrIsis packages of love from the Gods of Light. Then we headed back to Mikala and Elanu to warn everyone what we found.

I got up on Rocky’s back and he turned us invisible with with some kind of psionic haze before telekinetically leaping straight up into the air so we can glide around behind Elanu and try to keep an eye on him. The chipmunk and I followed Elanu for a ways until he stopped and someone near him began to cast a spell. Under normal circumstances this would have been peculiar. Factor in our espying an invisible man nearby and things are about to get hairy. Squirrel hairy! Then, all of a sudden, Elanu winked out for an instant. All is not what it seems! I surfed the squirrel floating down…then fly as the eagle…we both saw invisible and shit our proverbial pants. Time to return ASAP.

But no sooner than we arrived — the bell was rung! We rejoined the group and we are under attack!?!?! During the excitement we found a couple making out — thank you Indaris! We walked around Mikala / Elanu’s manor and confirmed that we were, in fact, under attack! I ran by Indaris’s room and heard people inside of it but got a face-full of SWORD for my curiosity. Sigh I should know better than to go sticking my face around where it doesn’t belong WITHOUT readying a shield and my Armor of Ithan ring and Otto’s defensive posture with his new rhinestone Thoth-Doggy Collar. I got a sword swung at me twice — both times bypassing my pathetic Armor of Ithan before I realized the folly of my ways. I ran back toward most folks and found a guard who ran toward Indaris’s room.

I found a dark corner and knelt, cradling Otto and hugging him dearly. “My Lady Phoenix, your humble servant, Tyvernos Oriflamme extends gratitude. I give you thanks for your guidance, insight, and healing touch. It has been a long journey through the darkness and at every turn, fraught with peril — to those who are friends our loved ones…and even THEIR loved ones. Your work continues through your servant and the furry avatar at his feet.”

Eventually I found someone to give the arrow to. Go figure.

Elanu invited me to come back — me and me alone — after the Trials for a reward.

Sigh. A gnome’s work is never done. And I can’t keep my wayward thoughts off the Madame Fenix.



Picture by nikkiburr
Picture by Humongous-E
Picture by kev19180
Picture by XMenouX
Picture by deadheart82

Written by Tyvernos on…an unknown date, in the 69th year of the Wolfen Empire.

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