Carnival of Death

Lets go, what are we waiting for
Dear Father,

Wow . . .
what can I say

You said we certainly owed the gods for what they had done for us, but after what I have seen I’m wondering if just me can be payment enough.

When I appeared the party still seemed to be grieving for a dead member, and one that just wandered off, but that didn’t stop them in their duty. We had a fireside chat to try and open up to what we were so I started off chatting to the most unassuming one that I had read about, and boy did I misread him. He seems to like everybody, and tries to do what he thinks is right. He has power aplenty from what I have seen, and I do believe I will start calling him Circleslayer from here on in, because he ganked a circle, and I don’t know many people who have done that. Not to mention he can just look at an item and make it shiny, magical shiny. It doesn’t last long but really long enough. If hew ever wanted to be one of the travelling people he would certainly be a boon for the family, but it would be a mistake just to focus on him. The troll walks up to me and asks if he can get a ride on my hat, and you know he’s only 3 inches tall or something (normally he’s like 17ft”1000′), also disagreeing with trolls is dangerous hobby even when they are 3 inches tall, that he was tiny didn’t seem to bother him at all and it certainly didn’t stop him from making things scarier by pulling out a magical scroll and starting to read it like he was calling down the sword of Damocles on our enemies (capital D and everything). The books that were given to me to read seemed like an outlandish fairy tale

but it’s all true

I must say I have had funny thoughts about putting a window in my hat, and a small chair on my head and watching as the troll casts firebolts and lightning balls out through the “window”. It would be a great surprise, but I digress.

Oh yeah, there’s this tiny troll pronouncing the enemies doom in a small squeaky voice, and a rampaging werebear, not in bear form, shrugging off blows that would drop me.

Scythe Guy who seemed to decide that limbs are optional extras, and left a trail of them through the enemy ranks.
A wall whispering dwarf who seemed to talk a wall into blowing itself up, he was pretty hard on the enemy too, they seemed to mostly pop like the pigsblood filled catgut props do when they get too much pressure.

And the war meeting went something like this.
The objectives are that we have to go into the palace and kill the demon pretender, I was fine with that, people shouldn’t pretend to be demons.

The response was
Lets sneak in, kill as few people as possible, blow a hole in the wall, use a secret passage.
and I was like “What happens if we get seen”
and the werebear was like “mmm breakfast”

I kid you not, we basically walked all the way from outside the castle to into the throne room, told the king his demon bitches time was up and then started killing everything that moved, but that misses out on the bit of killing everyone who got in our way on the way up. Lava would be easier to stop I swear.

Then the Kankoran seemed to get slightly aggravated with the magic circle protecting all the bad guys, and made a quick jerking motion with his clawed hand (that had me thinking he might have jerked some ones guts out at some stage or another) and the circle was dead, likely disemboweled.

You were always saying preparation is the key, be prepared and you should be fine.

I’d like to see someone prepare for this, the people here thought they had prepared obviously, but their defences were as cobwebs between a barbarian and his wench in a hayloft.
Their guards might as well have been made out of gingerbread, their weapons boiled lollies and sweetmeats. In fact I think they might have been more effective using celery because that might have made the werebear run.

Slaying one of the papier-mâché dragon props would be harder for me I think.

I will try to send more pertinent information later but this was like watching a hurricane blow through a village made out of straw.
It is the most entertaining thing I have ever seem, and I have never been so scared in my life.



7 Responses to “Carnival of Death

  • Actually, this totally explains his taking his time to get in on the action. It’s brilliant and we often forget how much of a force of nature we have become at these levels. How would the world’s top Juggler react to being tapped for his first toppling of a government to force a change.

    Well done!

  • I absolutely love the font you picked for Merkl – it’s chaotically brilliant! My favorite line was: “The books that were given to me to read seemed like an outlandish fairy tale. BUT IT’S ALL TRUE.” It’s just the right mix of disbelief and horror at the realization.

  • So much to like here! Really loving his attitude, and his use of his world to compare to what he just saw! Really well done!

  • Being a teller of tall tales himself he always took the stories he heard about Crisis with a very big grain of salt. He always thought there was a lot of padding to the stories, now he believes.

    Imagine how unnerving it would be, from noname reaping soldiers, to a tiny troll asking for a ride.

    • I think some die-hard fans think we are power creeping up with each book for shock value! Like continuing books in a Role playing game series.

  • The outlandish and absurd, yes welcome to CrIsis. Oh you thought being in a travelling Circus was strange. Ah, your Circus has nothing on this tiny band of Freaks.

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