Memoirs of a Cat


Mew mew merow reow. Mereow mrow mew mew arrawa. Mrow mew merow mreow araeow mreow mew mew meow. Meow mew meow merow mrow meow mreow arreow…

Sorry, just couldn’t resist. So, apparenlty I’m not curretly Grignak, Troll Shaman of Bast, I am Grignak Cat Shaman of Bast. If being a true member of CrIsis requires putting magic to a use never intended, then I have become so. Using a little ingenuity, a pair of magic handcuffs and a short lived Metamorphosis: Animal spell I have made myself into a cat for as long as I wish.

That’s probably a good thing since I am currently naked save for the aforementioned cuffs and my metamorphosis bracelet.

But I am getting ahead of myself. To begin at the beginning, as opposed to the end, Xer’xses decided to have use for dinner. And no, I mean nothing sexual or cannibalistic by this. In addition to all of the members of CrIsis he had King Hafton and Sir Quixis Ote.

To begin with we simply began talking about what CrIsis had been up to, which included the reason why I was required to join. It wasn’t all bad, however, as we introduced the concept of the Wolfen being made by the Humans and the Elves in concert, and we also discussed the origins of the Humans, that they were created by the Old Gods much like the Dwarves and Elves. Because of that I am now in the process of transcribing a book written by the Chronicler about the creation of the humans.

It would appear, as well, that No Name is trying to become a more productive member of society. He has taken up an apprentice. It warms my heart to see him caring about other individuals before himself, including his family. I’d always thought him a bit selfish, but now see that he is deeper than we have all given him credit for.

The party broke up much earlier than I would have expected. I live with such a group of prudes. Well, some of them anyway. Ursus and I decided it would be a good idea to continue the party, which was all well and good until we tripped the alarm in the bar and Xer’xses put us to sleep.

Silent Dream is becoming a worrier. The man needs to loosen up and get laid. It would help him better interact with society, if only with the society of a single individual. I’d say woman, but I’ve seen no evidence that he swings that way, and he seems to completely discount relations with the opposite sex. I don’t judge. Sword fighting can be a great way to kill a couple of hours.

My compatriots talk a good game about being all for the lawkeeper, but some of them, Indaris and Ursus this time, have a blatant disregard for the law. We have been told not to leave the guild hall, since Wisdom is peopled by bigots and imbeciles. Indaris and Ursus decided they were more important than a simple law, so they went out, and were promptly capture. To add insult to injury they escaped.

Now Xer’xses is on the hook for their crimes should they never return. Ursus makes the excuse that he was simply trying to provide the best ceremony he could. Don’t get me wrong, seeing the rebirth of a religion is something to behold, but there has to be a better way to go about it, especially when you forget to invite friends to your celebration.

It was pure lick (sorry, cat again “luck”) that I was wandering the halls and heard that there would be a Khonsu ceremony otherwise I might have missed it, and then I would have missed the boat completely. I chose to attend as a cat, supporting Bast and acting as her representative there.

Others have gone into the details ad nauseum so I will say simply that there was all the blood without any of the pleasure that I expect from a worship service for one of the gods.

They have time. I’m sure they’ll get it better next time.

So, apparently No Name made a pact with Apis to put us all in a time bubble for a month to raise his family and rebuild his old farm. We were whisked away from the end of the Khonsu ceremony directly to the hinterlands. We dug up his family and then No Name brought them back. We argued for a bit about where the farm should happen, and in the end we decided that it was high time that No Name emigrated to Timiro. I should say they decided, since it would have been better far to simple go to the Western Empire proper, but this does get me an opportunity to see my statue.

Well, I close this letter, My Dearest, with all my love. I thought you would enjoy a little about what we’ve been up to. I will return to you when I am able.


Written on or about the 24th of Grekar…or so Grignak believes.

Image by Dreamy11

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