The New Archer of Thoth

Sending an Arrow down the ole Bingo Hole of Evil

Jarvis,

I know that you are not a fan of male gods but would you celebrate with me for the sake of Osiris (you know Big O, wait… not that one the other one). Well I have seen his face; the first god that I have seen, well there was Thoth… twice… uh.. I don’t know what I am talking about apparently.

Anyway, I did relay the message to his High Holiness, uh that guy and he said that he would help you as soon as he was able (witch I guessed was soon from what he muttered). So, all the All Mothers be praised (as you like to say).

It seems that I have become the resident archer as my magic is (as I believe) less effective as I thought and my archery skill are ‘killer yo’ (as they say in the slums of home). The chief example of this is when we teleported to Lopan (you know the place of the games; oh and yea that’s why I saw his Holiness, the priest of Osiris (er.. whatever) that you wanted me to see and the reason I’m out of town; I’ll let you know when I get back in; we’ll do dinner).

Let me tell you of my fight against ReSet at the temple gates of Haven. Let me first start by saying that I am not accustom to being attacked for being me with magic and weapons of death so when I and my friends (I guess they are my friends) on this emotional high because we had just spoken with the god Osiris, were going down the stairs laughing and talking about our experience when these guys teleported to where we were. They wanted a fight and we gave them one. With magic and psionics giving us cover we quickly prep for action and I was inspired to get my bow (the one that I had discovered in Mangy Carl’s twisted lair) and began firing the lightning arrows. I’m a pretty decent shot and hoped to hit a target or two but to my amazement I hit every mark that I had made.

When the dust settled, the members of ReSet who had attempted to show their power had only retreated. Apparently jumping on us as it turned out was not the brightest idea. From our experience we were more then amply prepared. And they were nasty scary, uh… dudes; teeth and claws, magic and powers incredible flying about. I about soiled myself.

It seemed during this attempted onslaught that my eye was caught by one particular fellow who deserved to die. I don’t know all the stories of CrIsis but I know enough that I recognized the one they called The Agent and I was determined to kill him. This guy is one bad hombre. Then again they all were bad mother…. (shut your mouth Burlap; this is a letter to a priest). Right. Well you get the idea.

So I just want to say that I am alive. The company is getting the jokes, puns and sarcasm and I occasionally attempt to get a glimpse of the only female of the group (I am so guilty and I am sure that I will have to repent when I get home). Then again when it comes to her, she is a lot like you when it comes to wearing clothes. Almost takes the fun out of the chase…. almost.

Smell ya later,

Burlap.

Written by Burlap on the 7th of Od the 17st year of King Itomas.

Picture from Disney